It’s unbelievable to me that my first born could turn 17. She’s been 17 for 2 weeks, and this is definitely different. Most of the pictures around my home are still baby pictures, so the contrast is dramatic. I am now the mom to two teens.
A Sad Birthday
It has been a difficult time for all of us. Almost exactly 2 years ago, my mom, Ava’s Mima, was diagnosed with cancer. The diagnosis came right after she was visiting with us for Ava’s birthday in 2023. It was obvious that she wasn’t feeling well.
Her way was to always make a big deal of the birthdays. She bought the great gifts, made any birthday cake the grandchild wished for, and was always next to me planning, cooking, cleaning and preparing for the birthday fun. She still did all that in 2023, and I promise to carry on.
Ava definitely struggled with remembering this around her birthday this year. She was able to tell me that something was missing. It just wasn’t the same without her. But we had some really fun times. There was no party this year, just a day trip to San Antonio with me and her best friend. They played at the theme park for a few hours while I worked at a nice coffee shop nearby, then we all went to do a little browsing and had great food at the Pearl District. We had some great car conversations, and I was reminded that there are some REALLY amazing teens out there.
The Family Resemblance
I think my daughter resembles my mom more than anyone else in the family. I like to imagine that my mom was a lot like her as a teenager. That makes me so happy, because she was amazing. I already know my daughter is amazing, but it’s comforting to see those similarities.
They are both lovely and elegant. They have a similar shape and size. More than that, they share a certain energy. They are a little bit stoic, but more just calm and grounded. It’s stabilizing to be around them. They are giving, maybe even to a fault….always more concerned about how the people around them are feeling. They are resilient and brave. When I say brave, I don’t mean that they are daredevils who go around taking unnecessary risks or putting themselves out there so much. I mean that they have a lot of anxieties and worries, but they never let that stop them from doing important things.
Some of Her Favorite Things
Ava’s tastes haven’t changed dramatically. She still goes through phases of being crafty and artistic. She enjoys spending hours and hours doing tedious drawings or paint by number projects. Alone time is important for her. She needs time to unwind and recharge after a big day at school, although she’s usually willing to do a little more with a friend or with me. We still spend a lot of good quality time together, mostly talking, or watching our favorite shows or going shopping for something. That is something she prefers, and I still just go along with it.
She likes school and is an excellent student. I don’t have to stay on top of her, and she gets her work done. Her grades are usually all A’s, and she even challenges herself by taking some honor and AP courses. She is an amazing writer, and recently won the second to the top prize after submitting some work to the Scholastic Awards.
Her little dog is still her soulmate, and she loves to snuggle with him and sometimes dresses him in cute outfits. She has a job working at a dog boarding and daycare kennel which she does on some weekends and on summer break. The shifts are 10 hours and can be very long and grueling. She rarely complains, and mostly enjoys her co-workers and the pups. She LOVES making money and is saving for either a car or braces, or BOTH!
What She Doesn’t Like
High school friendships are hard. It’s an up and down part of her life, since I think she’s a little more down to earth than a lot of teen girls her age. She gets easily annoyed by the little dramas. She wants to spend time with friends, but then might have complaints afterward. This means that she’s very careful about what she does and who she spends her valuable free time with. She has a few good friends and works hard to make plans and keep them. Her best friend has stayed the same since 3rd grade though, and she never gets annoyed by her. I love that she has this person. As an adult, I still struggle to connect with new friends the same way that I can with the ones I’ve known since childhood.
Ava and her brother are definitely not friends right now. They are both teenagers going through some of the same challenges, but they have not figured out how to bond and connect over it. He purposely annoys her, and she can definitely be snappish and cold with him when he tries to reach out. They don’t have great chemistry, BUT I’ve seen little glimpses of effort here and there, so I can tell that he admires her and she wants to make a connection with him.
Ava is learning to drive, but she does not like it. I’ve been working on her for at least a year, and we’ve made a little progress. There is still a long road ahead (no pun), and I’m staying hopeful that she will be able to drive on her own someday! It’s hard for me to relate to this, because I was at the door before the DMV even opened on my 16th birthday, and walked away with my driver’s license. I pushed my parents for the classes and was more than ready to drive at 16. Maybe I shouldn’t have been allowed to though. I was way too confident. I can at least trust that Ava will actually be a good and ready driver when she gets that license.
Love This Kid
This kid makes life easy and joyful. I am so very lucky to be her mom.
Author Info
No Comments