My first born turned 10 two days ago. It’s amazing how a decade blazed by in the blink of an eye. We all say that I’m sure. We lock in an image of our babies on the day they are born. They are squishy babies, then snuggly clumsy toddlers, then they become children and it’s a downhill race to adulthood. I’ve been trying really hard to cherish the days, the mispronounced words, the fact that their dearest wishes are for me to play a game with them. Now my 10 year old will sometimes say no to an offer to play. She wants to have friends over, or she wants to finish a really good book she’s reading.
For this birthday, she asked for her own room. Until now, we’ve had one bedroom downstairs serving as a bedroom/dressing room for both kids, only stocked with a bunkbed and clothes storage. The other downstairs bedroom was the playroom full of all their toys and games. It worked well, although the bedroom was mostly a guest room/sleepover room where the kids only slept when having friends sleepover.
Otherwise, they preferred sleeping in my big upstairs bedroom on their own beds where we could bunk down together as a family. I loved this arrangement for many reasons. Cleaning up was easier when the toys were all in one room, and it discouraged the idea of “yours and mine”. Toys were community property and space was shared. We didn’t have too much arguing about who’s allowed to play with which toys and no yelling “Get out of MY room!”. I’m still waiting to see what comes of this new arrangement. I want to continue an open door policy where all are welcome in all rooms.
For the last 2 weeks I’ve been sorting, purging, organizing, rearranging, and decorating to have a beautiful room ready for Ava that she can call her own on her birthday. It was a big hit. It’s lovely and sweet and all hers. She slept there alone last night for the first time. She slept great. I wish I could say it feels like a triumph, like a milestone, but honestly I’m just a little sad. The big upstairs “family bedroom” felt a little too empty with her so far away. On the other hand, I love that she feels comfortable and safe in her little oasis.
Ava is 10, and she is amazing. She is so witty and clever in such a subtle way that sometimes it’s hard to know that you’re being playfully mocked. She is strong and observant. She is empathetic and has a very easy time understanding how others feel. She loves to write stories with no endings and reads so many great books. She has started to really understand and like math.
She loves otters and dogs and birds and horses. She is AMAZING with our pets and they trust and love her in return. She is infinitely patient when putting together puzzles and loves doing it. She loves to try and match her voice to the singer’s on the radio and thinks no one can hear her when she gets it just right. She likes to draw and make crafts. She likes to sew pillows, and gets so excited about acquiring new scraps of fabric.
She attracts wonderful friends who I love hosting because they are adorable and kind and funny. She has no enemies, and handles annoyances or unkindness from peers by responding with a “Sorry, I don’t need to hear this, good-bye.” attitude. She doesn’t get upset or even slightly ruffled. She just brushes it off and moves on. It usually doesn’t happen again. She is on the leadership team at her martial arts studio and makes a great mentor to the younger kids. Younger kids everywhere in her life are drawn to her and admire her. This is especially true of her little brother. There is no other kid anywhere who he loves and respects more than his Ava. Of course that doesn’t mean he doesn’t also love testing the limits of her patience, but he would do just about anything for her.
Ava is my sweet snuggly baby girl, my fun and amazing daughter, and one of my greatest teachers. I love you SO MUCH and am so proud of who you are. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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