Did you or DO you have any ideas about what you want your kids to be or do? Are you having trouble choosing activities for your kids?
I was into swimming as a kid and was on a swim team for 10 solid years. I always imagined that my kids would be too.
I did martial arts in college and decided that if I ever had kids, they would HAVE to do martial arts. I thought piano lessons would be pretty essential, and Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts are a good way to spend some time. Yoga is a pretty big deal to me and I think it would be a valuable resource for my kids. How about gymnastics and dance? Baseball and soccer?
And now reality hits. My kids don’t want to be on a swim team. We don’t have time or money for Yoga AND martial arts AND Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts AND piano lessons AND baseball. Now what? Should we dip our toes into ALL the options for a little while to see what they like then stick to one or two? Should we alternate “seasons” so we can get multiple activities in each year at different times? Do the kids sometimes decide after 2 months that they no longer like dance, gymnastics, baseball, soccer, etc.?
This happens. I have an idea. It might work, but maybe not. I’m still waiting and watching.
Watch your kiddos and hunt for clues. My son falls on the floor in a panic of laziness when I mention taking the dog for a walk around the block. “I’M TOO TIRED TO GO FOR A WALK!!!!!” Is he really such a low energy child? Should I funnel his energies into science or music or something else less physical? 10 seconds ago he was not too tired to pull all 21 of the chairs in our house into the kitchen, so I don’t think that’s the case with this kid. We tried and failed in a BIG way with baseball AND flag football. I did notice one day that when I offered a bike as an alternative to walking, he took it without complaint. He rode that bike the whole way and then some without whining about being tired the whole time. OK, got it. Walking, no…..biking, yes. Is there an organized sport for this thing he seems motivated to do? Found it. We are going on 6 consistent months with this sport and I’ve never heard a complaint about not wanting to go. He focuses, stays till the end, and wants to stay longer. Maybe this is his thing. Maybe we keep this and don’t worry about more. We stay focused.
My daughter tried dance, yoga, martial arts, baseball. We stuck with martial arts, but the rest were ho-hum. After baseball season, she says “Mom, that was OK, but I don’t think I want to do baseball again. I guess I just don’t like sports because I don’t like playing with balls. I wish running was a sport. I like that. Just running races would be fun.” That was a BIG GIANT FLASHING hint! I said, “It’s your lucky day, because running races IS a sport.” YMCA has a track team for kids starting at 6, DONE. We discovered she likes the longer, slower races and joined a cross country team too. She is so happy in this sport. It’s been over a year and 5 seasons. Maybe this is her thing.
Now we have martial arts for both, biking for one and running for the other. I can do this. It’s consistent, straightforward, healthy, and they both LOVE what they are doing. They also happen to be pretty good at these things that they are motivated to do.
So my suggestion is…..watch for clues. Help them find what they really like to do, probably things they are naturally pretty good at. I think that if we start watching when they are little, we can see what their natural inclinations are before they become influenced by what we want, or by what their friends do.
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