November 24 marked the day my little boy, Daniel, turned 6. This has been an amazing year for the evolution of my relationship with my son. When he was born, big, red, loud and hairy, I noticed almost immediately that parenting him was going to be a very different experience than I had known with my daughter before him. I’ve had to re-learn so much about parenting. I thought I was doing pretty well with my daughter. There was a rhythm and a flow, a lot of ease. I understood so much about her as she became a toddler. We didn’t argue or have conflicts. Maybe we are very similar people. Maybe we are different enough in the right ways.
Daniel threw me a curveball. I didn’t know how to handle the large number of conflicts that came up as he grew. He moved so much faster and had a very different set of needs in addition to the regular things. Days often felt like a blur of messes, disasters, and conflicts. I sometimes felt like I was trudging through a hurricane, barely making it. I’m sure that much of this had to do with the very new and difficult transition into being the mother of 2, but I know that part of this was adjusting to a personality that is so different from my own and from that of my first child in so many ways.
I’d love to someday tell Daniel that I handled it all very well, but the truth is that I had WAY too many days, weeks, months, and years that I look back on with some regret. I wish I had been more loving and kind when I was feeling frustrated. I wish I had worked harder to understand him and make adjustments in my behavior to accommodate his needs.
The year before he turned 6 marked a time of a lot of transition for the both of us. I decided to do things differently, and he was maturing. These factors combined into making my relationship with this sweet boy into a beautiful treasure. Most of the time now, I enjoy his company SO MUCH! He is smart and funny and sweet and mischievous and talented in so many ways. He adores his sister and does amazing things for her. He’s so good at cleaning up his messes and amazes me regularly with his strength, power and adeptness at all things physical. He has started school and is doing beautiful work as a student and as a friend.
I am so very lucky to be the mother of this amazing boy, and I’m so grateful for all that our differences have taught me. I am a much better person because of him.
I love you, Daniel! Happy Birthday!
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