It’s unbelievable to me that my first born could turn 17. She’s been 17 for 2 weeks, and this is definitely different. Most of the pictures around my home are still baby pictures, so the contrast is dramatic. I am now the mom to two teens.

A Sad Birthday

It has been a difficult time for all of us. Almost exactly 2 years ago, my mom, Ava’s Mima, was diagnosed with cancer. The diagnosis came right after she was visiting with us for Ava’s birthday in 2023. It was obvious that she wasn’t feeling well.

Her way was to always make a big deal of the birthdays. She bought the great gifts, made any birthday cake the grandchild wished for, and was always next to me planning, cooking, cleaning and preparing for the birthday fun. She still did all that in 2023, and I promise to carry on.

Ava definitely struggled with remembering this around her birthday this year. She was able to tell me that something was missing. It just wasn’t the same without her. But we had some really fun times. There was no party this year, just a day trip to San Antonio with me and her best friend. They played at the theme park for a few hours while I worked at a nice coffee shop nearby, then we all went to do a little browsing and had great food at the Pearl District. We had some great car conversations, and I was reminded that there are some REALLY amazing teens out there.

The Family Resemblance

I think my daughter resembles my mom more than anyone else in the family. I like to imagine that my mom was a lot like her as a teenager. That makes me so happy, because she was amazing. I already know my daughter is amazing, but it’s comforting to see those similarities.

They are both lovely and elegant. They have a similar shape and size. More than that, they share a certain energy. They are a little bit stoic, but more just calm and grounded. It’s stabilizing to be around them. They are giving, maybe even to a fault….always more concerned about how the people around them are feeling. They are resilient and brave. When I say brave, I don’t mean that they are daredevils who go around taking unnecessary risks or putting themselves out there so much. I mean that they have a lot of anxieties and worries, but they never let that stop them from doing important things.

Some of Her Favorite Things

Ava’s tastes haven’t changed dramatically. She still goes through phases of being crafty and artistic. She enjoys spending hours and hours doing tedious drawings or paint by number projects. Alone time is important for her. She needs time to unwind and recharge after a big day at school, although she’s usually willing to do a little more with a friend or with me. We still spend a lot of good quality time together, mostly talking, or watching our favorite shows or going shopping for something. That is something she prefers, and I still just go along with it.

She likes school and is an excellent student. I don’t have to stay on top of her, and she gets her work done. Her grades are usually all A’s, and she even challenges herself by taking some honor and AP courses. She is an amazing writer, and recently won the second to the top prize after submitting some work to the Scholastic Awards.

Her little dog is still her soulmate, and she loves to snuggle with him and sometimes dresses him in cute outfits. She has a job working at a dog boarding and daycare kennel which she does on some weekends and on summer break. The shifts are 10 hours and can be very long and grueling. She rarely complains, and mostly enjoys her co-workers and the pups. She LOVES making money and is saving for either a car or braces, or BOTH!

What She Doesn’t Like

High school friendships are hard. It’s an up and down part of her life, since I think she’s a little more down to earth than a lot of teen girls her age. She gets easily annoyed by the little dramas. She wants to spend time with friends, but then might have complaints afterward. This means that she’s very careful about what she does and who she spends her valuable free time with. She has a few good friends and works hard to make plans and keep them. Her best friend has stayed the same since 3rd grade though, and she never gets annoyed by her. I love that she has this person. As an adult, I still struggle to connect with new friends the same way that I can with the ones I’ve known since childhood.

Ava and her brother are definitely not friends right now. They are both teenagers going through some of the same challenges, but they have not figured out how to bond and connect over it. He purposely annoys her, and she can definitely be snappish and cold with him when he tries to reach out. They don’t have great chemistry, BUT I’ve seen little glimpses of effort here and there, so I can tell that he admires her and she wants to make a connection with him.

Ava is learning to drive, but she does not like it. I’ve been working on her for at least a year, and we’ve made a little progress. There is still a long road ahead (no pun), and I’m staying hopeful that she will be able to drive on her own someday! It’s hard for me to relate to this, because I was at the door before the DMV even opened on my 16th birthday, and walked away with my driver’s license. I pushed my parents for the classes and was more than ready to drive at 16. Maybe I shouldn’t have been allowed to though. I was way too confident. I can at least trust that Ava will actually be a good and ready driver when she gets that license.

Love This Kid

This kid makes life easy and joyful. I am so very lucky to be her mom.

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A Difficult Birthday

This was a difficult time for a birthday. Daniel turned 14 on November 24, 2024, just 11 days after my mom, his grandmother, died after a 2 year long battle with cancer. We didn’t have much of a celebration, and everything was overshadowed by shock and grief.
He handled it so well. He didn’t complain or fuss about the fact that he wasn’t getting a birthday party at the right time, or an abundance of gifts. We finally got to celebrate with his friends three whole weeks later with paintball and barbecue. His lack of fussing makes me think that he was a little numb during that time. It’s hard to know, because he doesn’t talk about his feelings much. I don’t think he was prepared to lose her.

It’s so hard to know how to approach things like sickness and death with our kids. At his age, I mostly gave him truthful and whole pieces of information. I told him that she might not survive her illness, but I don’t think he focused on that part. I also think that all of us sometimes, but especially kids, only hear the parts that they want to hear. He understood that there was hope of survival and held on to that.

Even a few months later, I’m not sure he has felt the full impact of the loss. Daniel was 12 when she was first diagnosed. He was 10 or 11 when she was still extremely healthy and well. He might not remember her as she was “before”.

I think that children have very short memories sometimes. They really might not remember someone they knew very well just one or two years ago. I think that might be the case here. He remembers her being sick, but not all that much from before.

Like His Grandmother

What he does have of her is meaningful and will last forever. His love of food and the fact that a kitchen is his favorite place to be comes from her. I’m that way too. It was always the hub of her home and she was almost always in it. Daniel is like that now. He spends most of his time at home in the kitchen. When it’s my turn to be in there it can drive me crazy, but I think it’s sweet and I love that he’s like her in that way.

His attention to detail is hers too. He will really dig in to something that he’s interested in. Once it grabs his attention, he goes all in and becomes an “expert”.

What Hasn’t Changed?

Daniel is still all about sports. He works out a lot and is very concerned about his physical fitness. He played his first season of flag football at the start of the school year and was SO GOOD at it! The kid would play hard, and then stay after practice to run plays with his coach as long as that wonderful man was willing. He is also starting his first season on a basketball team. That is his new favorite sport. He spent most of last summer at the YMCA playing basketball with anyone who was around. He even learned to ride the city bus to get there, so I didn’t have to shuttle him back and forth every day.

Daniel loves to play, but is also an excellent student. He’s in 8th grade and is making all A’s on his report cards. I don’t even have to remind him to do his homework. He is still not an easy kid to get along with, but I’m very aware that I am very fortunate in the school work department. I hear other parents complaining about the homework battles and having to keep up with their kids’ assignments and grades. I have never had to do that! Our agreement is that as long as his grades are good, I won’t say a word, and I won’t check up on him. It’s been magical. I am so grateful.

The Typical Teenager

Otherwise, we butt heads a lot. He is a full blown teenager. He checks all the boxes. He’s rebellious, disobedient, loud, BIG (he’s MUCH taller than I am now), and messy. I should amend that. His room is not a disaster, and he mostly keeps the bathroom tidy, but the rest of his stuff ends up in very strange random places around the house. Today, I had to step over some corded ear buds, a keyboard case, and some plastic packaging when I was trying to walk into my house. ????!! He loves to cook, and that also means strange disasters in the kitchen. The other day, he dropped some water into a pot of boiling hot oil. Yes, there were literally pools of oil all over the kitchen and on the walls.

He listens to obnoxiously loud music or wears headphones so he can never hear me calling him. We struggle over the music choices, but I mostly try not to fight that battle. I’ve already taken away ALL of his devices because of his tendency to get WAY too obsessed with them, and he has never had a smart phone. He’s had 3 phones in less than 2 years. His last “dumb phone” is lost again, and I’m not sure I’m willing to get him another. It’s always either lost, or not charged, or not with him. He wonders and rages about why he doesn’t have a very expensive smart phone.

The NOT-so-Typical Teenager

I’m grateful that although he is large and loud, he doesn’t smell bad! He can’t seem to walk around without smashing into everything and everyone, but at least he cares about his personal hygiene. Last summer, I was working in my office/bedroom upstairs and heard a man’s voice downstairs. My heart started racing because I was not expecting anyone. It was my son. I was shocked, but I should have been prepared.

He’s going through shoes at a ridiculous rate, and has developed a shoe obsession. The kid even started his own business! He finds “special” shoes at thrift stores, restores them, and sells them online for a profit. He hasn’t sold any quite yet, but I’m sure he will soon. Daniel spends a lot of time researching the “right” shoes, and seems to be able to find the diamonds in the rough. I love that he’s so good at cleaning and restoring shoes. Mine are about ready for a tune up.

Proud of This Kid

He is applying to a competitive high school magnet and is putting a lot of effort into the project. One minute he says he doesn’t care and doesn’t even want to go to this school, and the next minute he says life will end if he doesn’t get in. Teenagers, right? His efforts are impressive though. He’s so smart, and can figure out anything. He learned to use film editing software on his own in a matter of minutes, which is something I still struggle with at work so much! If he doesn’t know how to do something, he will find out, and he will get good at it.

What I love most about this kid is that even though he acts tough and mean, he actually just wants to be with us. He wants to join in on anything his sister and I are doing, and doesn’t like to spend time alone in his room. I understand that this is not usual for a teen boy, and I’m reminding myself to relish it while I have it.

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Ava is 16. I can’t believe this is real. It’s so hard to imagine this day when you’re holding a new little baby. It’s unimagineable, but then it happens. This amazing kid has been a sweet steady presence all her life. She is easy to get along with, and also sets reasonable expectations for herself and for others. She is gentle with her words and actions, but she’s not a pushover. She’s kind of messy, although she loves her space to look nice. She loves to shop at thrift stores, and any stores really. She has way too many clothes, but always thinks there’s more to get. She loves hand-me-downs too. She is still enthralled by her little dog. She knows he’s the cutest animal to ever walk the earth. She has many friends, although her favorite thing is to be at home watching her favorite show WHILE doing nail art on herself. She’s definitely a home body, and the thought of leaving home for too long is VERY stressful to her. So, she’s having very mixed feelings about a 16th birthday trip to Italy gifted by one of her favorite aunts. She desperately wants to go, and is also desperately anxious about it!

She and I agree on most things and rarely have conflict. It’s not what I expected of my first teenager, and I’m so so grateful! I keep expecting things to change any day, but we really do just get along. We like most of the same things and can basically read each others’ minds. She wants a car and even knows exactly which car (a very old and “cute” Honda CRV), but she’s not ready to get her driver’s license or even start driver’s training! Her favorite movie is 50 First Dates (mine too!), and her favorite TV show is Parks and Recreation. She doesn’t like watching sad or scary shows or movies EVER.

Ava still does not like sleep, and often struggles to get enough although she doesn’t fight about it. She loves to run, but has been struggling with a very slow healing injury sustained halfway through the cross country season and had to miss the entire track and field season. She is very committed to healing and does her physical therapy regularly. She hopes to be all better for the start of the next cross country season. Long distance is definitely her thing, and she loves being part of a team. Her favorite foods are frozen blueberries and sushi.

School is a place she doesn’t hate to be, although she does sometimes get tired of the work and can get easily annoyed by her peers after a long week. A full day of school definitely drains the small amount of extrovert energy she has, and she loves her alone time to recover. She’s an excellent student. I never have to tell her to do her homework or study, and she has been getting all A’s in high school so far. I think she’s finally starting to believe that she’s a good writer and enjoying that. She has a WONDERFUL English teacher who is giving her lots of inspiration and confidence.

Ava is an animal lover, an artist, and a really good person. I’m so lucky to have her as my daughter!

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Daniel turned 13 since the last time I posted, so now I have 2 teens! To be completely honest, having teenagers is what made me most afraid to become a parent. I waited a long time before deciding to finally have children, and that was a big part of it! I know I wasn’t nice to be around as a teen, and I dreaded having to manage all that. My first teen has been taking it easy on me. And now there are 2. To be fair, my son has always been one to challenge!

Now that he’s 13, he has officially gotten taller than me. I’m now the shortest human in my house, and that is a very strange experience. I still sometimes offer to reach for something on a high shelf for one of my kids before realizing that I should be asking them for help!

Some of the typically teen things I’m seeing from Daniel…

• He eats way more than I can keep up with.
• He has been going through a “workout” phase where he wants to do lots of pushups, pullups, and situps and spend a lot of time at the gym.
• He has a particular hairstyle that he maintains with a lot of swooping and swishing, crunching and curling.
• He is outgrowing shoes every few months, and has much bigger feet than I do now.
• He is definitely rebellious and disobedient. He does NOT like to be told what to do. Unfortunately, I love to tell him what to do, so that’s kind of an issue.
• He wants to constantly wear ear buds and listen to music or podcasts in them.
• He is way too interested in video and computer games.
  

However, here are some teen things he has NOT succumbed to……

• He does not smell bad.
• He does not have a messy room. In fact, he has recently cleaned it out so well that it’s nearly empty!
• He does not have to be told to do his homework and is making really good grades.
• He LOVES puppies and kittens and is so helpful when we volunteer with our favorite animal sanctuary.
• He does not like to hang out alone in his room and is constantly finding someone to talk to.
• He is not good at texting or calling people and often misplaces his phone.
• He’s really good at going to sleep at night and still loves to wake up early!
• He’s a great cook, and will do it pretty much anytime! He even perfected a fried chicken recipe for his favorite teacher.

Daniel is extremely intelligent, sometimes too much for his own good. He loves to argue, often WAY too much for his own good. He loves computer keyboards and mice. He has used his money to purchase MANY of these for himself just so he can hear them make clicking sounds! He does a great job training our dog, Angel, and can spend hours with her showing her new tricks or obstacle courses. He still adores his big sister, although he will NEVER admit it. He also tries very hard to annoy her, and is most always successful. We can now watch some of my favorite movies and TV shows together, and I love that he actually likes my favorites! He’s into action/adventure movies and anime, but he also loves rom coms and comedies of all kinds. He can get very emotional and enjoy dramas too. He loves to pose and make funny and dramatic faces. He just learned how to whistle and does it CONSTANTLY!! His favorite shoes are Jordans and he has become ultra fixated on getting these and keeping them looking white and new. He is still playing soccer, although he’s wanting to play basketball now.

He’s been at a new school which is VERY academically rigorous and is doing an AMAZING job of keeping up with his work on his own and is making excellent grades. Even though he’s truly enjoying his teachers and some things about the school, he really wants to go to a school with more kids and lots of sports, so we’re working on that for next year! My hope is that Daniel’s extreme independence, passion, and debate skills will serve him well someday. Until then, I’m hanging on tight and trying to enjoy the wild ride!

Parenting is teaching me that we never know how things will turn out. We think we understand how to be a good parent, but it’s really more about how to be a good parent FOR THIS PARTICULAR KID. Daniel and I are not alike, and I have trouble understanding him. My daughter is the opposite. We are so alike that I sometimes have to stop and remember that we are not the exact same person. With Daniel, I have to stop so often and recognize that I just don’t get it. His motivations and reactions are SO different from mine. We have to communicate carefully, and I often have to backtrack and try something different. But I never get bored, and I’m grateful to be learning and developing new skills everyday. I am so proud of this kid and look forward to what comes next.

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I’m writing this post late….again! Ava turned 15 more than 3 months ago. This year she wanted us to redecorate her room. She spent a lot of time in the months before her birthday looking at pictures and stuff online to get ideas. We have a friend who is an interior designer even offer to take us to her favorite paint shop and find the best colors for her walls! We made wish lists for all the stuff, and when the big day finally came, her aunt, grandparents, and parents got to work putting it all together. She now has a much more grown up space that better reflects who she has become. She has a great eye for “aesthetics” (she would hate that I used that word!) and knows how to make things pretty. We also celebrated by taking 3 of her good friends to the Fiesta Texas theme park in San Antonio. They got to do their own thing riding roller coasters and using my credit card to buy lots of food!

She has some great friends, which I am so very thankful for. Our kids get to an age when they want to choose their own friends. That age came A LONG TIME AGO for my kids. I feel like I’ve been holding my breath waiting for one or both of them to choose friends that I don’t like. Ava is wise and thoughtful about who she spends time with. She might initially be attracted to a kid for the wrong reasons, but is quick to figure out who her real friends are. I tend to like them a lot! She is very wise and mature in so many ways, but she is also still playful and silly. Ava complains that kids at lunch spend too much time just talking or looking at their phones. She would honestly love to play tag or frisbee or DO something!

She loves to shop for clothes and knick-knacks more than just about anything. She loves thrift stores and the mall alike. We sometimes disagree about how much shopping is too much, but otherwise we get along pretty well. I’m thrilled that I still truly enjoy spending time with my teenager. It’s not just because she’s my kid and I’m supposed to. She’s just plain delightful. I’m such a lucky mom.

We finished watching The Office together and she’s a super fan. She even listens fanatically to a podcast about the show! Our new favorite show is Parks and Recreation. We really do like so many of the same things. We find plenty to talk about, and bedtime snuggles are still a MUST.

She cleans her own room, does her own laundry, and is now even doing the yardwork! She is a great babysitter and petsitter to many of our neighbors, and has even taken a job as an assistant at the martial arts camps hosted by her martial arts school. She will be starting a real steady job this summer working at a dog kennel. She is still very much a dog lover although she’s not as obsessed as she used to be.

She’s so funny although she doesn’t believe me, and she’s still a great writer. She still loves to paint and create art, and I’m hoping she’ll finally get to take a real art class at her new high school. Her school is wonderful. She has made a lot of good friends, and really enjoys so many of her classes and teachers. This is her first year to have grades. At first, she thought it was really fun and exciting, but the excitement is starting to wear off. Even so, she may finish the year with straight A’s! She’s hoping to join the cross country running team next year. We found out recently that Ava has scoliosis, but as long as some physical therapy can help making running safe and comfortable for her, she’ll be able to do that.

She’s wonderful, but not perfect! She can be a grumpy teen big sister and gets easily annoyed with her little brother. She can definitely be spacey sometimes, forgetting about plans or where she put something. Most of the time, she loses things only to recover them just a little later.

My wish for her is that she is able to see how lovely and strong and magnetic she is. I love how thoughtful and considerate she is, but I also want her to know that people like her just the way she is, and that she should always be herself without second guessing. I don’t miss being a teenager because of all of the self-doubt and insecurity. I can’t decide if I’d like to keep her close just the way she is right now, or if I can’t wait to see what she will do next! I guess parenting doesn’t change all that much as they age after all.

The post Ava is 15 appeared first on Joyful Beginnings.

We all say it. Parents just can’t believe how the time slips away, and our babies stop being babies.

I have a teen and a pre-teen and I still sometimes catch myself thinking about how to get childcare for an event or wondering if I need to start their laundry even though they do their own now! My littlest baby turned 12 last week, and it feels surreal. Twelve is a big milestone! No more ordering from kids menus, no more free admission anywhere, no more kids shoes sizes and prices (for mine at least!), and a lot of times no more kid-like behavior. This is true for my Daniel in a lot of ways. He doesn’t want to watch any movies that are rated G or even PG. He wants to be able to go places without me, take on more responsibilities and privileges, not be told what to do. He’s not quite as snuggly as he used to be, and he is definitely too large to carry or hold in my lap. However, he does still want hugs, and wants me to read to him, and sing him a song when I tuck him in at night. He begs for all of us to read a story together like we used to, and he still likes to play with Legos. He is still EXTREMELY chatty and wants to tell me everything about everything every day. He still doesn’t care much about his clothes, although his hair is as important as it always has been. He still loves to play games…..anything with a ball, and recently decided to learn to play sand volleyball on our beach vacation. He got to celebrate this birthday on an island in the Caribbean this year. He was a little disappointed that it wasn’t the usual kind of birthday celebration, but then he embraced it, because it meant he got to be with his extended family AND do all the “extras” that he’d been hoping to do. He got pulled behind a boat on a tube for the first time. He got to participate in an escape room. He got to make everyone play putt-putt golf with him AND go to a water park.

His favorite interests right now are soccer, making things out of leather, his knife collection, and playing games on his computer. He purchased the computer himself and would like to be playing on it a lot more than he is allowed. He got a phone for his birthday. It’s not a smart phone, but still a great tool for communication, so he is now spending a significant amount of time texting and talking to his friends and family. This kid is still tireless and strong and adventurous and stubborn. He’s an entrepreneur, although his summer business making breakfast tacos for neighbors stressed him out so much that he decided not to do that again. He is also still so sweet when he wants to be. We watched Groundhog Day recently and he got so emotional about the homeless man who dies in the movie. He’ll think about it sometimes still and burst into tears about the unfairness of it. He recently realized that our little parrot, Petrie, is getting old and we may not have a lot of time left with him. There were a lot of tears after that realization, followed by a very urgent need to make plans. He decided that the birdie should have more time everyday doing things he enjoys. He made a schedule so that everyone in the family can participate and take a shift giving Petrie a great life. He has been sticking to his schedule and those two are closer than ever. I often find them snuggling on the couch or playing Petrie’s favorite puzzle game. He has a lot of determination, and I have no doubt he will do whatever he decides he wants to do.

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Pandemic birthday number 2 for Ava. This time wasn’t all that different from the last, although she and her friends are now vaccinated and old enough for some new freedoms. This is a step that I thought would be a lot scarier than it is. It took me a long time to decide to have children because I was afraid of having teenagers. I know I gave my parents a hard time, and I have just never much liked them to be honest! Ava is not all that bad, I guess. I thought that each step granting her more independence would be crushing and anxiety-provoking for me. It’s actually been a lot less dramatic than that. These new stretches have been slow and gradual, and she is still pretty responsible and makes good choices.

So, when she said she wanted to take her best friend to the Museum of Ice Cream and then do some shopping for her birthday, I cringed a lot on the inside, and then realized I could and should let them do this by themselves! My mom and I took them through the Museum of Ice Cream so we could take lots of pictures (a very surreal experience), and then set them loose at an outdoor mall with some money to shop. While they did that, we went into a couple of stores until I reached my max (probably about an hour), and then we sat at an outdoor restaurant and had great food and great coffee. That is now how I prefer to supervise a kids’ birthday party. There are perks to having teenagers.

She also got to take a couple of school friends to get bubble tea, french fries, and hangout after school on her actual birthday to celebrate, and we went to a drive-in movie to see Grease as a family. I think this was her perfect birthday.

Ava is now officially taller than I am, and borrows my shoes and even my clothes sometimes although she’s a lot narrower than I am. Her hair texture has changed, and she decided to try a curly haircut after some convincing from me. Now she loves to experiment with her new curls, and with makeup and clothes. I remember doing this exact same thing. It’s so strange to be witnessing it from this side.

She loves to have alone time after school. She tends to be pretty fried after socializing all day and cherishes this quiet time to unwind. She has many friends at school and gets along with everyone, but unfortunately the school itself has been very uninspiring and I hear daily complaints about something or another. She has applied to a high school for next year that she is very excited about. She found out on her birthday that she AND her best friend were accepted. It’s hard to believe that my kid will be in high school next school year, but the time does just keep passing.

She still loves her puppies, especially her little soulmate, Bear. They both spin circles and light up when they see each other after a long day at school.

She has a dumb phone and is using it a lot more to chat and text with friends. I know she would rather have a smart phone like most of her friends do, but she NEVER pushes or complains about it. That is amazing to me. I think she either recognizes that phone obsessions don’t look good on her friends, or she just really doesn’t care all that much.

She still spends so much of her free time drawing or painting and is really producing some beautiful work. She got an old camcorder for Christmas and has been making short recordings of all kinds of things. I’m not sure what the plan is for these, but she’s very committed to it. The school she hopes to go to next year will finally provide some art instruction and plenty of outlets for her creativity.

She says that her friends at school have nicknamed her “Mom” or “The Therapist Friend”. She can’t quite decide whether she likes this role, but I tell her it’s because they trust her and she makes them feel nurtured and valued. It’s a high compliment, and I agree. I actually asked her to help me make a tricky decision recently just to see what she would say, and she gave me EXCELLENT advice! It was hard (sort of) to tell her that HER mom also had the nickname “Mom” in high school!

She has a wicked sense of humor and we’ve been watching some of my favorite older TV comedies together. We started with The Office and are now laughing together over Kimmy Schmidt. We love to sneak into the TV room after her brother goes to bed and giggle on the couch together. She still gives me great big hugs every night in her bed before I say good night.

I’m so happy to have such a smart and centered 14 year old daughter. She helps me remember to find my own balance and makes me so proud. Happy birthday, Ava!

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I have a preteen again! My son turned 11 in 2021, his second pandemic birthday. This time, most of the adults around us were vaccinated, a lot of the kids too, and things seemed a little less scary, so he had a small party to celebrate. He had 6 friends over to play video games, eat lots of food, play in the street, and sleep on his floor.

He was so happy that his best friend, Milo, was able to come this time. Because of COVID, he only saw his best friend twice last year. It was so hard, but I was very proud of him for moving on and making the best of things. Overall, he has been able to do this and I’m so glad. I know that not all kids were adjusting quite as well. He’s even made some comments that he doesn’t remember much what things were like before COVID. That seems a little sad, but I know that a lot of kids are likely going to have that experience. It might make things a little easier, I suppose. They can stop resenting the inability to do things they were able to do before. We’ve all probably learned to do with a little less, and I can’t think that’s altogether a bad thing.

Daniel has been at a new school for a couple of months which is a relief to both of us. Homeschool was something I’m glad we tried, and even more glad we finished. He doesn’t like taking orders, but I really like giving them. He’s still not a very cooperative kid and has VERY strong ideas about how things should be done, and he is also still funny and sweet and getting better at noticing when other people are upset.

He’s still very noisy and active and sometimes rude, but I’m starting to see a little more maturity. His new school is great. It’s a very small community with a lot of focus on tolerance and kindness. He’s discovered that he likes ALL of the kids in his class, even the girls. This is surprising and a big relief! He used to say that he didn’t play with girls because they didn’t like playing the things he played and that generally they didn’t like him. I could see that, although there were a couple of girls over the years that he was able to make good connections with. At his old school though, he tended to be a little intense and rough, and most of the girls usually avoided him. The fact that he’s friends with all the kids in his class is a BIG positive sign of maturity. He has also made some younger friends, and even a younger friend with a pretty severe speech impediment. I love that he barely notices it. Mostly, he sees that this kid is nice and fun and they have a lot in common. He would never make fun of him, and he usually waits very patiently while he finishes speaking.

One of my favorite things about Daniel is that he plays so well with younger kids, even VERY tiny ones. They love him, and he is so good at doing just the right things with them. His younger cousins are a great example. He’ll push his 4 year old cousin around in a little plastic car for SO long, or push a ball across the floor, or do anything he wants to do……..very patiently.

He very easily does his homework and even seems to enjoy it sometimes. He looks forward to going to school every day.

He’s even more excited about wilderness school now too. He’s working on getting a knife certification and a saw certification. He spends hours carving in his free time at home and is getting better at building fires without using a lighter or a match. He takes a lot of pride in these accomplishments and looks forward to his weekly wilderness school days.

He’s still playing a lot of soccer although he seems a little less enthralled. I think it’s getting a little too competitive and lot less fun, although he does take a lot of pride in being able to teach kids at school how to play during their free time. He takes his ball with him to school most days.

He has now decided to trust Petrie completely and they hang out together often, snuggling and getting treats and talking. It’s so sweet and I love how gently and correctly he handles him. He even chose to take him to school when he had a turn to “show and share”. He took him around to meet all the kids and taught them how to give him a treat and ask him to talk.

I’m able to trust him to be on his own a little more now, and even though I’m working from home a lot and we still spend much of that time together, he’s managing to limit interruptions and avoid doing things he knows he shouldn’t do more.

He still eats just about anything and it seems like the amount has nearly doubled. I feel pretty sure that next year’s post will include something about a big growth spurt!

I love this sweet kid. Happy birthday, Daniel! Life is never dull with you. You challenge and delight me every day.

The post And Now 11 appeared first on Joyful Beginnings.

Ava is officially a teen, AND having her first pandemic birthday. She’s handling things so well even though it’s almost been a year of social distancing and restrictions. She’s in middle school and at a NEW school for the first time in her life. The transition has been kind of hard, but she’s been handling it with grace. She’s slowly making new friends, although it’s so much harder when 1/3 of her school time is virtual and the rest is limited and distant. As an introvert, she doesn’t seem to mind the limited socializing although there are things she misses like movie theaters and restaurant dinners.

Big physical changes and emotional upheavals are very real entering the teen years, but again, she’s handling things very gracefully.

For her birthday, she decided to spend some special time with her two best friends. With our next door neighbor, the plan was to be allowed to bake apple pies and eat them! They made beautiful pies and had a great time.

With her best friend, she asked to spend a day running around town having a photo shoot. We bought matching pink hoodies and planned out all the stops. We got pictures at Mayfield Park with the gardens and peacocks, pictures with the Mount Bonnell views in the background, great shots in front of some favorite murals and the big ATX sculpture downtown. We had bubble tea along the way and finished with sushi for dinner.

She said these were better and more meaningful celebrations than she might have had with her typical non-COVID birthday parties. I’m so proud of this beautiful girl. She has such a big heart for animals still and such wisdom for her age. She is able to understand SO much more about human behavior, emotions, and relationships than I did at her age. She’s definitely finding a lot of interest in the teen things too and would love to spend a lot more time shopping and talking about hair and makeup than I’m willing to do. She spends a lot of time drawing and painting, and I don’t think it’s just a passing phase anymore. Without any training or education, she is learning to make beautiful art through dedication and a BIG commitment of time. She loves to listen to podcasts now, and I think she regrets making fun of me for talking about podcast episodes so much. She’s messy, but appropriately apologetic about it. She loves to eat good food and still likes the healthy stuff. She’s about to be taller than me……sniff.

I love you, Ava. Happy Birthday!

The post Time for a Teen appeared first on Joyful Beginnings.

It’s 2020 and we are 8 months into the COVID-19 pandemic. Daniel is turning 10. What does that look like during a pandemic? Well, for us it meant 3 short, outdoor, and socially distanced playdates. Rather than have a party, Daniel chose 3 friends to come spend time with him individually and have birthday celebrations.

He was very sad that his best friend wasn’t able to come at all. His family had recently gone through a COVID scare and they were buckling down for awhile.

First, his neighbor friend came over and they spent time outside playing in the treehouse and in the street. We actually managed to set up his favorite video games with a big screen in the treehouse so they could play! He planned a favorite lunch to share with that friend and got to have a candle on a cupcake to blow out with him.

The first friend left after a couple of hours, and another friend came over. They spent time playing video games and jumping on the trampoline. We had a buffet of some favorite snack foods and another candle on another cupcake to share with this friend.

His final friend came over after the second friend left and they were able to have LOTS of outside dark video game time, a dinner of Daniel’s favorite seafoods including mussels and oysters, and ANOTHER candle on another cupcake to blow out.

This time has not been easy. Raising kids during a pandemic can be tricky and often a little sad, but we’ve been so fortunate and are trying to benefit from the positive side of things. Daniel and I are doing homeschool which had been the plan even before we knew about COVID and in some ways our relationship is improving. He doesn’t complain much about doing math even though we are struggling to finish all of the school work I hope for.

With so many free and easy mornings, he has become one of our family chefs and is learning all the ways to make eggs. He is making breakfast for us most mornings now and is really good at it! He even cleans up after himself.

He is getting more responsibilities around the house which he does PLENTY of very loud complaining about, but often completes the tasks well.

He gets to see kids a few times a week at wilderness school and soccer practices which has been SO appreciated. The outdoor time and getting to be a kid with other kids is vital for this little boy. He is such an extrovert and thrives when he gets to be around other kids more.

He is also improving at getting on his sister’s nerves, or maybe it’s just more obvious because we are all home together so much.

He loves his puppies and is working on training Angel to jump through hoops and do obstacle courses. He is also starting to trust our parrot, Petrie, a little more and is developing a bond by spending so much time in Petrie’s space playing legos and listening to audiobooks. He has also discovered podcasts and will sometimes listen for HOURS!

He is reading the Harry Potter books and we have agreed to watch the movies together as a family as he finishes the books. He reads SO MUCH now and is really enjoying it.

He is so good at soccer and loves playing it. He wishes he could go to practice every day. He also has been learning a lot more this year at wilderness school and will talk endlessly about his instructors there and how to carve sticks, identify edible plants, make fires, and basically survive in the wilderness. We did a short homeschool theme piece about survivalists which led us into a conversation about the cold war and bunkers and he got SO into it. He’s pretty sure he could survive in the wilderness alone if he needed to. We even made our own toilet paper to see if we could. That was right after there were a lot of toilet paper shortages due to COVID. The toilet paper did not look like something anyone would actually want to wipe with, but it was fun making it!

He is getting so big, but can still give the best snuggles and hugs.

He turned an old kitchen table into a ping pong table and begs us to play constantly. He’s actually getting pretty good at it. He’s still hell on wheels, preferring those to feet a lot of the time….hoverboards, rollerblades, skateboards……

He is a good friend, athlete, foodie, kitchen helper, and caretaker. I’m so proud of his strengths and accomplishments and am looking forward to watching him grow more every year!

The post Daniel is 10. Double digits BABY! appeared first on Joyful Beginnings.