Pandemic birthday number 2 for Ava. This time wasn’t all that different from the last, although she and her friends are now vaccinated and old enough for some new freedoms. This is a step that I thought would be a lot scarier than it is. It took me a long time to decide to have children because I was afraid of having teenagers. I know I gave my parents a hard time, and I have just never much liked them to be honest! Ava is not all that bad, I guess. I thought that each step granting her more independence would be crushing and anxiety-provoking for me. It’s actually been a lot less dramatic than that. These new stretches have been slow and gradual, and she is still pretty responsible and makes good choices.
So, when she said she wanted to take her best friend to the Museum of Ice Cream and then do some shopping for her birthday, I cringed a lot on the inside, and then realized I could and should let them do this by themselves! My mom and I took them through the Museum of Ice Cream so we could take lots of pictures (a very surreal experience), and then set them loose at an outdoor mall with some money to shop. While they did that, we went into a couple of stores until I reached my max (probably about an hour), and then we sat at an outdoor restaurant and had great food and great coffee. That is now how I prefer to supervise a kids’ birthday party. There are perks to having teenagers.
She also got to take a couple of school friends to get bubble tea, french fries, and hangout after school on her actual birthday to celebrate, and we went to a drive-in movie to see Grease as a family. I think this was her perfect birthday.
Ava is now officially taller than I am, and borrows my shoes and even my clothes sometimes although she’s a lot narrower than I am. Her hair texture has changed, and she decided to try a curly haircut after some convincing from me. Now she loves to experiment with her new curls, and with makeup and clothes. I remember doing this exact same thing. It’s so strange to be witnessing it from this side.
She loves to have alone time after school. She tends to be pretty fried after socializing all day and cherishes this quiet time to unwind. She has many friends at school and gets along with everyone, but unfortunately the school itself has been very uninspiring and I hear daily complaints about something or another. She has applied to a high school for next year that she is very excited about. She found out on her birthday that she AND her best friend were accepted. It’s hard to believe that my kid will be in high school next school year, but the time does just keep passing.
She still loves her puppies, especially her little soulmate, Bear. They both spin circles and light up when they see each other after a long day at school.
She has a dumb phone and is using it a lot more to chat and text with friends. I know she would rather have a smart phone like most of her friends do, but she NEVER pushes or complains about it. That is amazing to me. I think she either recognizes that phone obsessions don’t look good on her friends, or she just really doesn’t care all that much.
She still spends so much of her free time drawing or painting and is really producing some beautiful work. She got an old camcorder for Christmas and has been making short recordings of all kinds of things. I’m not sure what the plan is for these, but she’s very committed to it. The school she hopes to go to next year will finally provide some art instruction and plenty of outlets for her creativity.
She says that her friends at school have nicknamed her “Mom” or “The Therapist Friend”. She can’t quite decide whether she likes this role, but I tell her it’s because they trust her and she makes them feel nurtured and valued. It’s a high compliment, and I agree. I actually asked her to help me make a tricky decision recently just to see what she would say, and she gave me EXCELLENT advice! It was hard (sort of) to tell her that HER mom also had the nickname “Mom” in high school!
She has a wicked sense of humor and we’ve been watching some of my favorite older TV comedies together. We started with The Office and are now laughing together over Kimmy Schmidt. We love to sneak into the TV room after her brother goes to bed and giggle on the couch together. She still gives me great big hugs every night in her bed before I say good night.
I’m so happy to have such a smart and centered 14 year old daughter. She helps me remember to find my own balance and makes me so proud. Happy birthday, Ava!
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