Today, I don’t mean the kind of pressure in your pelvis. I’ve been thinking about how much and how often I have been affected by the opinions of others in regards to my pregnancy, birthing, and parenting choices.
You’ve probably felt it, are feeling it. I’d like to think that I’m above worrying about the opinions of others, but it still gets to me sometimes.
Here’s why I’m thankful for the judgments, the pressure, and the pushiness……
I am now (almost) completely judgment free. I had plenty of judgments for other mothers before my children came along. I had more judgments before my second child was born than I do now. I now know that there are lots of different ways to be a great parent. When I see a screaming toddler in a restaurant, I don’t think “That’s a bad kid and his parents must be doing a terrible job. I’ll never have a kid who does that.” Now I think, “That is probably a pretty great kid having a bad day. Poor kid. Poor mom. Hang in there.”, and I offer a sympathetic smile or a comment about how that was me just yesterday. Each child will challenge us deeply in very different ways, whether it’s the “perfect” child who teaches us to encourage that child to spread her wings and take risks, or the “spirited” child who teaches us humility and stretches our limits of patience and tolerance.
There are also lots of different ways to have a beautiful birthing experience. As long as you are aware and present to your experience and your baby’s experience, you can birth joyfully and have many happy memories to share with your child in the years to come.
So let’s agree to try and let the pressures go, to ignore the judgments of others and quiet our own. Don’t worry about what your mom, sister, friend, or birth instructor say. Take each day as it comes and make the choices that are right for you and your family. You do have it in you to find your own way.
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